


are you proud of who i am?

by charjace



Series: Problem Child ; JATP [4]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Gen, Parental Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: There's nothing I wouldn't doTo hear your voice againSometimes I wanna call you
Series: Problem Child ; JATP [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071917
Kudos: 4





	are you proud of who i am?

**Author's Note:**

> based loosely on hurt by christina aguilera

He knows his parents love him, they’ve always loved him and he can’t remember a time when they didn’t. Remembering how they would carry him to bed when he would fall asleep on the couch, how they let him believe he could be anything. How, they brought him the guitar he had been eyeing up for his birthday – even if now they regret doing so. He’s not stupid, he  _ knows _ why his parents keep pestering him about college.  _ Think of your future Luke! _ His mother would say, pleading with him to just keep the band a  _ hobby. _

Luke knows they’re just worried, it’s not easy to make it but – Luke believes they will make it. He can  _ see _ it. Fighting with his mother, it drains him and he wishes it would stop but he can’t just give up on his dreams, not when they let him dream that big in the first place. His mother use to tuck him into bed with a lullaby and telling him that he can be anything he wants too. That’s what he’s doing, he’s doing as his parents told him growing up.

The fights are becoming more frequent, and it hurts him. It hurts knowing that his parents can’t fully back his dreams, and it hurts seeing the worry on his mother’s face. Halloween of 94 after a gig, it stirred another fight with his mother, and he just runs out on her. Not wanting to argue after a high of a performance, so – he hopes back on his bike and makes his way to Reggie’s. Alex was closer, but he wanted to be as far away from his own home as possible, and Reggie was it.

He doesn’t bother with knocking on the door, he goes straight to Reggie’s window and tapping on it. Smiling at his friend who opens up the window to let him in from the cold autumn air. Down the hall, Luke can hear the fighting Reggie’ parents seem to be doing.

“I just... I needed an escape,” Luke says, and Reggie gives a small nod of his head before going over to his dresser and pulling out some pyjamas for Luke and a set for himself. 

“Another fight?” Reggie asks once they’re lying on his bed, the blankets pulled up to their chins in the cold room.

Luke gives a small nod of his head, and he can feel tears forming and he doesn’t know why. “They don’t understand it. This band... it’s my dream Reg. It sometimes feels like they, like they don’t believe in me anymore. Not like they used to, and it hurts Reg.”

A sob breaks its way through Luke’s lips and Reggie is pulling Luke into a hug, and Luke just let’s it happen. He needed the touch, he just needed to know he was loved in any way. He falls asleep to Reggie lightly humming.

Then, nearly two months later, Luke’s running away after a huge fight. He checks in on his parents when he can, when he can stomach it – it hurts seeing them looking,  _ waiting _ for him but he isn’t ready, once they make it, he’ll be ready. But he never gets to go back – he never gets to apologise to his parents, to his  _ mother.  _ To tell her that he never meant to hurt her, that while she was hurting, he was too. It was too late, and there is nothing he can do about it but watch as they live on without him. The many things he would’ve said had he  _ known _ this was where he’d end up, but he didn’t - and he has  too ‘live’ with it.

**Author's Note:**

> and yes for the boys, i had it go like, reg went to alex, alex went to luke, and luke went to reg - for like a full circle type thing. carrie's the next and last in the series.


End file.
